Clacton-on-Sea

Two hours from London by train, this Essex seaside resort divides opinion like Marmite. Some dismiss it as tired and tacky. They're missing the point. Clacton's charm lies precisely in its unashamed embrace of traditional British seaside kitsch - candy floss, amusement arcades, and proper fish and chips eaten from paper.

The pier stretches boldly into the North Sea, packed with classic rides that haven't changed much since the 1970s. The Gold Mine Rollercoaster still rattles along its tracks, while the Swinging Chairs offer cracking views across the Thames Estuary. Kids love the Dodgems and the wonderfully daft Upside Down House, where everything's topsy-turvy. The Wheel Experience gives you a bird's-eye view of the town's Victorian terraces stretching back from the seafront.

Beyond the rides and arcades, Clacton has its quieter moments. Yelloly Woods provides a lovely escape from the crowds - proper ancient woodland where you can actually hear birdsong. Burrsville Park Meadows offers peaceful walks through natural grassland, a world away from the pier's happy chaos.

The surrounding Essex countryside rolls gently towards Colchester, twenty minutes inland. This is proper commuter belt territory, but the coast retains its holiday atmosphere. The beach itself is decent - sandy stretches that work well for families, though it gets packed on sunny weekends.

Staying at one of the nearby holiday parks makes perfect sense. You're close enough to dive into Clacton's seaside mayhem when the mood takes you, but far enough away to enjoy some peace. The train connection to London Liverpool Street is frequent and reliable, making this a surprisingly accessible slice of old-school British seaside life.